![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Character: Sylar/Lydia
Genre: het
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
thewatchmaker
Fandom: Heroes
Word count: 743
Rating: PG
Prompts:
04. Catoptrophobia; Fear of Mirrors {they reflect our true selves to us} for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
13_fears 5/13
041. Cleaning the child. for100_fairytales 48/100
Notes: for the best Lydia on LJ/Twitterthepainted_lady. Happy Birthday!
Setting: During Sylar's two weeks at Sullivan Brothers
My beard itched. I hated that feeling. I tried to ignore it, but I felt dirty and unkempt. I rubbed my face into the pillows of Lydia’s bed, breathing in the scent of her perfume and closing my eyes to remember the wonderful things she’d been teaching me. Just the thought of it made my face get warm, and other parts of me stirred.
I’d lost track of how many days I’d been at the Carnival. How many days it’d been since I found myself with my memory erased, lost and alone in the woods, before I was arrested for murdering my mother. But this was home now. Samuel said I was family, and that’s all right. I’m safe now. These people cared about me. I didn’t have to worry about being forced to do anything like I did before. I didn’t want to think about being Sylar. Didn’t want to think about all the people I’d killed.
I’m Gabriel now, or I will be once I get rid of the memories that aren’t mine. I want Nathan to go away. It was a constant struggle to keep his thoughts out of my head. I know I killed him. I know I was bad, but being haunted in my own skull was driving away what little sanity I had left.
I’m afraid to look in the mirror. I’m afraid to see my memories or to see Nathan’s face instead of mine. What if it’s someone else’s face entirely that I see? I’ve lost my mind, my identity, and I lost my body. There’s so little of me left beyond my powers.
“Sylar,” I feel the bed shift as Lydia sat on the edge. She smelled like soap and shampoo, and her hand was damp when she ran it along my cheek. “You should get up. It’s almost time for breakfast. Aren’t you hungry?”
“I’m always hungry,” I grumbled into the pillow. “I just don’t want to get up.”
“Tough.” She tugged on the blankets, and the cold air made me shiver. “Up and at ‘em. We have breakfast and chores. You know that.”
“I know.” Turning over reluctantly, I reached down to pull on my jeans and find my discarded shirt from the night before. “I need to get cleaned up first.”
“You need to get rid of this,” she said with a wicked smile as she tugged on the beard that was covering my chin. “When was the last time you shaved?”
“It’s been.” I couldn’t meet her eyes, and cast a sideways glance at the little mirror over her tiny dressing table. Between the pretty rainbow colored bottles, I’m relieved to see my face in the reflection, but it doesn’t stop the fear that skyrockets through me. “I haven’t for a few days.”
“I like you better with only a little scruff.” She placed her hands on my chest and pushed me back down onto the bed. Then she ran her hands over my chin before nibbling on the corner of my mouth. “I’ll take care of it for you.”
“I like it when you take care of me, Lydia.” I bit my lip as she got up to gather some supplies. She came back with a bowl of water, a shaving brush, a straight razor and shaving soap. There was no question in my mind that she’d done it before. There wasn’t much Lydia hadn’t done from what I gathered, and that was all right with me too. I liked her. I liked her more than anyone. I sure as hell liked her more than I liked me.
It felt good when she lathered up the brush and rubbed it through my heavy beard. I was completely calm as she brought the razor up to start scraping the thick dark hair away. She rinsed the razor off and looked into my eyes, and then over to the mirror. “Why are you afraid, Sylar?”
“It’s the mirror, Lydia. I’m afraid of who I’ll see looking back at me.” My voice sounds so small when I admit it.
“You’ll figure it out, Sylar.” She took the razor up again to start on the other side of my face. Every now and then she’d catch the tip of her tongue between her teeth while she worked. She was so beautiful. “And I’ll help you with that. You trust me, don’t you?”
“More than anyone else.” I gave her a real smile that time.
Genre: het
Author:
thewatchmakerFandom: Heroes
Word count: 743
Rating: PG
Prompts:
04. Catoptrophobia; Fear of Mirrors {they reflect our true selves to us} for
13_fears 5/13041. Cleaning the child. for
100_fairytales 48/100Notes: for the best Lydia on LJ/Twitter
thepainted_lady. Happy Birthday! Setting: During Sylar's two weeks at Sullivan Brothers
My beard itched. I hated that feeling. I tried to ignore it, but I felt dirty and unkempt. I rubbed my face into the pillows of Lydia’s bed, breathing in the scent of her perfume and closing my eyes to remember the wonderful things she’d been teaching me. Just the thought of it made my face get warm, and other parts of me stirred.
I’d lost track of how many days I’d been at the Carnival. How many days it’d been since I found myself with my memory erased, lost and alone in the woods, before I was arrested for murdering my mother. But this was home now. Samuel said I was family, and that’s all right. I’m safe now. These people cared about me. I didn’t have to worry about being forced to do anything like I did before. I didn’t want to think about being Sylar. Didn’t want to think about all the people I’d killed.
I’m Gabriel now, or I will be once I get rid of the memories that aren’t mine. I want Nathan to go away. It was a constant struggle to keep his thoughts out of my head. I know I killed him. I know I was bad, but being haunted in my own skull was driving away what little sanity I had left.
I’m afraid to look in the mirror. I’m afraid to see my memories or to see Nathan’s face instead of mine. What if it’s someone else’s face entirely that I see? I’ve lost my mind, my identity, and I lost my body. There’s so little of me left beyond my powers.
“Sylar,” I feel the bed shift as Lydia sat on the edge. She smelled like soap and shampoo, and her hand was damp when she ran it along my cheek. “You should get up. It’s almost time for breakfast. Aren’t you hungry?”
“I’m always hungry,” I grumbled into the pillow. “I just don’t want to get up.”
“Tough.” She tugged on the blankets, and the cold air made me shiver. “Up and at ‘em. We have breakfast and chores. You know that.”
“I know.” Turning over reluctantly, I reached down to pull on my jeans and find my discarded shirt from the night before. “I need to get cleaned up first.”
“You need to get rid of this,” she said with a wicked smile as she tugged on the beard that was covering my chin. “When was the last time you shaved?”
“It’s been.” I couldn’t meet her eyes, and cast a sideways glance at the little mirror over her tiny dressing table. Between the pretty rainbow colored bottles, I’m relieved to see my face in the reflection, but it doesn’t stop the fear that skyrockets through me. “I haven’t for a few days.”
“I like you better with only a little scruff.” She placed her hands on my chest and pushed me back down onto the bed. Then she ran her hands over my chin before nibbling on the corner of my mouth. “I’ll take care of it for you.”
“I like it when you take care of me, Lydia.” I bit my lip as she got up to gather some supplies. She came back with a bowl of water, a shaving brush, a straight razor and shaving soap. There was no question in my mind that she’d done it before. There wasn’t much Lydia hadn’t done from what I gathered, and that was all right with me too. I liked her. I liked her more than anyone. I sure as hell liked her more than I liked me.
It felt good when she lathered up the brush and rubbed it through my heavy beard. I was completely calm as she brought the razor up to start scraping the thick dark hair away. She rinsed the razor off and looked into my eyes, and then over to the mirror. “Why are you afraid, Sylar?”
“It’s the mirror, Lydia. I’m afraid of who I’ll see looking back at me.” My voice sounds so small when I admit it.
“You’ll figure it out, Sylar.” She took the razor up again to start on the other side of my face. Every now and then she’d catch the tip of her tongue between her teeth while she worked. She was so beautiful. “And I’ll help you with that. You trust me, don’t you?”
“More than anyone else.” I gave her a real smile that time.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-02-12 03:16 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2011-02-12 03:29 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2011-02-12 02:08 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2011-02-12 05:04 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2011-02-12 07:58 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2011-02-12 08:01 pm (UTC)From:Glad you liked it.
no subject
Date: 2011-02-13 05:43 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2011-02-13 06:41 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2011-02-13 06:35 pm (UTC)From:But this is lovely, and thank you so much--it's a wonderful birthday present. <333333
no subject
Date: 2011-02-13 07:08 pm (UTC)From:I think I might explore this little time in Sylar's life some more. It is happier than most for him, because my Sylar really loved her. In my head he finds out what happened to her at the end of the show, and rips Samuel's lungs out for it.
XOXO
no subject
Date: 2011-02-14 05:00 pm (UTC)From:That would be awesome! I would love to see more! And Lydia v. much approves of the idea of someone actually giving a damn enough to do something about what happened to her.
xoxox