Who Are You? - 100heroesfics and <user site="livejournal.com" c

[watchmakersylar]

Characters: Sylar
Fandom: Heroes Fugitives
Rating: PG
Word Count: 360
Prompt: 2/100 #76 Who 100heroesfics and "Maybe if we tried working together we could ease some of the tensions. We're all pulling in different directions." for scifi_muses
Notes: Someplace in Sylar's head during/after "I am Sylar"

Pawns and shadows... That’s all any of us really are. We’re manipulated, warped and twisted from the day we’re born by our parents, our friends, our lovers. Anyone whose attention we want, we crave or we need. That need to fit in, to be needed to be loved fuels our wants and desires. No one is immune to the need, but sadly some of us are needier than others.

Why aren’t I worthy? I’m getting so very tired of being karma’s bitch. Being forced to watch while others around me find love and happiness. These aren’t new feelings, but I pray every day that they’ll go away. I pray that I’ll stop needing anyone to care about me.

Now that I know the truth of my birth why can’t I let her go? She wasn’t my mother anymore than Angela was. At least Angela understood me as no one else could. Sometimes I still believe she prefers me to her real sons. Useless bastards that they are, they couldn’t even kill their father when they needed to.

I cling to Sylar. He is my strength. He is my protector. He does what I can’t.

Or maybe it works the other way around? Could I be his protector? Is Sylar lost because he’s spent so much time shoving me aside that he’s lost his soul?

Micah told me I could be special. He wasn’t talking to Sylar. He was talking to me. The real me. His pleas weren’t to Sylar. They were for Gabriel. The part of me I hide. The part of me that is weak. The part of me that needs to be special and loved.

I’m babbling like a lunatic. Keep losing myself in my memories and my chameleon flesh. Hell I’m losing more of me to the memories of other people every time I take their power, their memories or their face. Their DNA has warped me more than my guilt and rage.

I am Sylar. Sylar who is going to get us killed.

I need to be stronger. I need to take control. I don’t want to die.

I am Gabriel. Yeah, just like the angel.

Comments

[mydnight-dreams.livejournal.com]

Very intriguing. I like it. A glimpse of the man who worked beside HRG back in the day and saved Claire from the Vortex, I though he'd gone (died) when Sylar had killed Elle.

PS I'm Claire_bare on Twitter :)

[sylar.livejournal.com]

Hi Clare, glad to meet you. We'll have to chat on Twitter.

Glad you liked it. It was a bit disjointed, but then so is Gabriel.

[mydnight-dreams.livejournal.com]

:D

Yes you're right. Sylar/Gabriel is NEthing but a classic psychopath.

[sylar.livejournal.com]

I cracked up on one LJ comm where the poster was up in arms about him having multiple personalities because of Virginia/Gabriel... I was good and didn't point out that he's always been at least two people.

[mydnight-dreams.livejournal.com]

Aww, you were good XD You could have ripped them all a new one on that.

[sylar.livejournal.com]

Normally I try to skip past the fandom stuff. I write my fic. I do some RP... But this time I had to read. Thanks for friending me back btw.

[mydnight-dreams.livejournal.com]

You're welcome :)

This is my fic and RL journal. I have a Claire journal on Insane Journal and a Claire AIM.

[wytchcroft.livejournal.com]

intriguing insider's view of the mind(s) at work... nimbly done.

[sylar.livejournal.com]

Thank you my dear.

[superkappa.livejournal.com]

I really liked this. I've always thought there was a strong difference between Sylar and Gabriel. I could definitely see them being split into two separate personalities.

[sylar.livejournal.com]

Thanks, glad you liked it. The tug of war of their two personalities is a ton of fun to explore. I'm going to mourn when he finally integrates.

[superkappa.livejournal.com]

I wonder if he ever actually will. I mean, fully integrate. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't.

[sylar.livejournal.com]

I don't know if he can. (and if he did, would he still be entertaining?)

Did you notice the wearing of gray instead of black. Reminds me of watching Luke Skywalker going from white, to gray and to black with the loss of his innocence.

And dear God I'm a geek. LOL

[superkappa.livejournal.com]

(I think he might be less interesting? The disjointedness makes him so fascinating)

I totally did, though I didn't quite make that connection!

[beshter.livejournal.com]

I like the tension between Gabriel and Sylar, the pulling of the two dies of himself. Very nice.

[sylar.livejournal.com]

It's a bit more disjointed than I like, but it makes sense for what's going on with him right now. The Gabriel parts of him are trying, but I think it's probably too late.