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Yesterday was a test of my willpower. It was only supposed to be a test for a new recruit to the Company. Her name is Elley Waters, and she was brought in shortly after I assumed by position. Matt Parkman devised a scenario that he’s dubbed the Kobayashi Maru. It’s a no win situation designed to weed out the weak and dangerous Specials who try to work with us.

Bennet and I took the parts of a special seeking sanctuary and the monster hunting her. No need to tell you who played what. It was funny to watch Bennet screaming like a silly little muffy. It’s so out of character for her.

Waters powers are ironically water based. Probably means it’s been inherited through her family line for quite a few generations or god has a sense of humor. God hasn’t been making me smile for a long time, so I’m going with the first option.

The kid was good. She used her ability in ways I’d never thought of. Of course it might have been nice of Parkman to inform me of just what she could do. I’m sure he and REBEL got a big laugh out of that. I can hear them snickering when she started boiling the water in my body.

She took a lot of hits from me, but I was holding back. Sure I can heal what I do to her, but I’ve never tried to raise the dead. Also killing recruits is bad for morale. I can’t believe I give a shit about morale.

It took totaling her car with Bennet in it for her to come close to giving up. I pinned her to the ground after using the sonic blast. Hit her with enough electricity to fry her to the bone too when finally said uncle. Then I healed her, taking all the pain I caused her onto myself.

I don’t like healing. I especially don’t like that the power has a need of its own to seek out and eliminate pain. Remind me never to rip open a priest’s skull again. Father Douglas was my last kill, and I regret taking his power every time it forces me to help someone.

We are on the watch for Linderman. Thanks to Hiro’s fucking with the time stream, he never died, but went into hiding. At least it’s only been for about a year, but is that why the Peter I knew is gone? Is there some cosmic balance sheet that yanks us out of our reality when someone else blunders in?

I met a new Peter, fresh from Kirby Plaza and lost in the cloud, Peter at Nathan’s. We had a long talk. He seems able to accept that I’ve gotten a grip on my issues, and so has the Noah Bennet that appeared this morning. Noah is from the future, and he says he’s been watching us – me – for months before coming out into the open. That’s a very Noah thing to do.

If this Noah and this Peter can help fight Linderman, we will all benefit. I know I’m going to need their help. Right now the only person I can really trust to be there for me is Bennet, and as fast as she is she can’t be everywhere at once.

Dammit, the new girl just caught me in the hall. I’ll send her off with another agent. Rachel Mills isn’t doing anything.

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Sylar - Gabriel Gray

July 2012

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