watchmakersylar: (Sad Sylar)
Character: Sylar, Noah, Rene
Fandom: Heroes
Word count: 628
Rating: G
Notes: A few years after Virginia's death. I am apparently incapable of writing a non-depressing fic. Sorry
Prompt for [livejournal.com profile] scifi_muses
Arturo Bandini: Sick in my soul I tried to face the ordeal of seeking forgiveness. From whom? What God, what Christ? They were myths I once believed and now they were beliefs I felt were myths.




My breath smoked in the air. Snow swirled in a lazy dance as the tears of the angels sought the icy earth. The gate let out a small shriek as I pushed it open. Old black paint flaking, showing rust and wear from years of wet, cold winters. Snowflakes melting on my lashes and cheeks as I gazed upward. The sky was a mosaic of gray and white. It was so cold that it hurt to breathe.

A blanket of pristine white, glittering snow covered the boughs of the scraggly winter starved trees that during summer offered shade to the visitors of the dead. Each tombstone was laden, and the upturned face of the angel over my mother’s grave was a blank mask of ice. Her wings darkened by mold and moss that had died in the cold.

“I would have come sooner, mom, but it wasn’t safe.” Hunkering down on my heels, I pulled off my black leather gloves with my teeth. I placed my hand on the marker, brushing the snow out of the carving, so I could read her name. As the cold numbed my skin, I begged her for forgiveness for being away for so long.

I knew there were no flowers under the covering of snow, no footsteps that belonged to anyone other than the grounds keeper. I didn’t need to touch her tombstone to know that no one came to visit her. I’d never been there before, and I was all she had left.

“They’re hunting me. I’m never alone now. I’m wanted by everyone.” My laugh shattered the stillness, and I could feel the tears on my face grow cold before they traveled far. “Remember how I hated being alone? How I wanted to be special, and for people to care about me, now I’d kill for that. For a few days where I didn’t have to watch a door, or flinch if I hear a loud noise. They can’t kill me, but they can hurt me. I hurt all the time, and I miss you.”

“I was wrong, so wrong about you. You weren’t a horrible mother.” The crust on the snow broke as I dropped down on my knees, the wet soaking into my jeans and adding to the cold that had seeped into my core and what’s left of my soul. “You loved me, and no one else ever did. You wanted me, and I didn’t appreciate it. I’m so sorry, mom.”

“I wish I could go back, be who I used to be. I know you thought I was wasting my life, but mom it was a better life. I had a home. I had a job, and I had you. You needed me, and as much as I hated it, I needed you too.”

The stillness was shattered by the sound of a car door slamming, and the sound of the gate being pushed open behind me. I knew who it was before I heard his voice.

“I knew you’d come here. It’s been how many years, Gabriel?”

“Apparently not enough, Noah.” Reaching into my pocket as I stood, I took out the snow globe I brought for my mother, and balanced it on the outstretched hands of the angel guarding her. “I won’t fight you here.”

“I was counting on that.” He wasn’t alone.

I lost count of the bullets that hit me. My blood blossomed on the snow at the feet of her angel, spreading warm and color where none had been before. I couldn’t move. I was helpless and drowning as it filled my lungs. I gazed up into Noah’s face as he and the Haitian loomed over me. The snow fell on my face, freezing my tears as the world went black.

Date: 2009-12-19 09:37 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] idyllgirl.livejournal.com
your descriptions are like poetry. beautiful
a sad fic for such a sunny day.
:o(

Date: 2009-12-19 09:45 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] sylar.livejournal.com
You'd think I'd actually been in snow. I'm too much of a California kid. I haven't been in snow since college when it snowed for all of 5 hours in Vegas.

Thanks hon, glad you liked it.

I'm going to go cry now.

Date: 2009-12-19 09:38 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] eriksselest.livejournal.com
*wipes away actual wee tears, for real*

That was heartbreaking and I could so easily imagine the scene considering the state of weather out here.

Excellent job~!

Date: 2009-12-19 09:45 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] sylar.livejournal.com
You'd think I'd actually been in snow. I'm too much of a California kid. I haven't been in snow since college when it snowed for all of 5 hours in Vegas.

Thanks hon, glad you liked it.

I'm going to go cry now.

Date: 2009-12-19 09:41 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] kittenspawn.livejournal.com
*weeps like a big silly girl and hugs Sylar*

That was amazing. Wrist-slashingly depressing, but amazing. :(

Date: 2009-12-19 09:46 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] sylar.livejournal.com
Well you know... I spent the night rescuing Gabe, and killing 500 people... I needed some forgiveness.

XOXO

Date: 2009-12-19 09:55 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] kittenspawn.livejournal.com
*devious grin*

Liz says she does not approve of your blowing shit up shenanigans.

I think Liz's opinion is completely irrelevant in this matter. :P

Date: 2009-12-19 09:56 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] sylar.livejournal.com
Liz would have done the same thing.
Well she probably wouldn't have come back to do it.
*ponders*
No...I think a well directed fireball does a LOT to stop a person, as you are aware.

Less civilian casualties than an explosion, too.
I don't care anymore. What did caring about innocents get me? Used, betrayed and manipulated.

Date: 2009-12-19 10:26 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] open-flame.livejournal.com
*sad sigh*
I don't think Angela was innocent at all from that e-mail you sent us.

Date: 2009-12-19 10:27 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] sylar.livejournal.com
Angela wasn't innocent from long before she was an itch in her daddy's pants.

(LMAO!)

Date: 2009-12-19 10:30 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] open-flame.livejournal.com
You used to be innocent, though.

Re: (LMAO!)

Date: 2009-12-19 10:36 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] sylar.livejournal.com
Any innocence I had is gone, Liz.

Date: 2009-12-19 10:46 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] sylar.livejournal.com
Someone with a soul wouldn't have firebombed the hotel, Liz. I killed so many.

Date: 2009-12-19 10:47 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] open-flame.livejournal.com
So you lost control.
Trust me, it happens.

Date: 2009-12-19 10:48 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] sylar.livejournal.com
That excuse would work if I hadn't done it on purpose. I was in complete control.

Date: 2009-12-19 10:51 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] open-flame.livejournal.com
*realizes she sounds like a hypocrite*
Maybe of the fire sure, but what about your emotions?

Date: 2009-12-19 10:53 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] sylar.livejournal.com
What emotions? I went there to kill, to maim to slaughter, and I liked it.

Date: 2009-12-19 10:55 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] open-flame.livejournal.com
It was just the thrill of the hunt then?
I guess I don't...understand that.

Date: 2009-12-19 11:07 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] open-flame.livejournal.com
So you were angry.
I see.

Date: 2009-12-19 11:59 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] sylar.livejournal.com
d'uh

Date: 2009-12-19 09:42 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] graylikeme.livejournal.com
...I'm going to go cling to happy threads now.

I love the fic, but it's cause for wibbling.

Date: 2009-12-19 09:47 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] sylar.livejournal.com
I have no happy threads. UNFAIR!!

I can't write happy. Think I need to go write Mal getting hammered or something. He's happy...sort of...

<3

Date: 2009-12-19 09:57 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] open-flame.livejournal.com
*comforts him*
If I wasn't in Level Five visiting my batshit crazy boyfriend I'd bring you cake and tea, sweetheart.

Date: 2009-12-19 10:02 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] graylikeme.livejournal.com
Think Gabe will have trust issues for a while, so it's okay.

Date: 2009-12-19 10:14 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] open-flame.livejournal.com
But...it's me...
Cake and Lightsaber battles and...Star Trek...
*sadface*

Date: 2009-12-19 10:15 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] sylar.livejournal.com
No one is getting near either of us for a very long time, Liz. We bite.

Date: 2009-12-19 10:24 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] open-flame.livejournal.com
*worries obsessively, as always*

Date: 2009-12-19 10:23 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] snarky-blonde.livejournal.com
Wow...that is really good!

Date: 2009-12-19 10:27 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] snarky-blonde.livejournal.com
You are welcome!

Date: 2009-12-19 10:29 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] petrelliheidi.livejournal.com
Awww, someone needs a hug!! *hugs so tightly*

Date: 2009-12-19 11:57 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] petrelliheidi.livejournal.com
How about I counter your depression by writing you something warm and fuzzy?

Date: 2009-12-20 12:00 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] sylar.livejournal.com
Please do. Thanks

Date: 2009-12-19 11:33 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] iluthradanar.livejournal.com
Wonderful story. A little harsh for Noah but I can see him doing that, in the right mood.

Heartbreaking!

Date: 2009-12-20 12:02 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] sylar.livejournal.com
I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for reading.

Date: 2009-12-20 02:27 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] illusional-you.livejournal.com
OMG, this was so beautiful and so sad. Inner Virginia is bawling and so is Candice *hugs*

Date: 2009-12-20 02:29 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] sylar.livejournal.com
Thanks baby. Sylar misses Virginia. Go fig....

Date: 2010-02-22 04:42 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] snupperuska.livejournal.com
my heart just broke for him, like it always does.
that was really good.

Date: 2010-02-22 05:23 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] sylar.livejournal.com
Thank you. This one hurt a lot. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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Sylar - Gabriel Gray

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